Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!

Halloween Assembly Class Play: The Vanishing Pumpkin Customer feedback received 12.10.14 AMAZING! Exactly what I needed. Well written, funny and great suggestions for music. I’m using this with a class of 31 and the suggestions for adaptations were spot on. The class love it and are super excited for our assembly on the 30th of October. Thank you Cast: 30 (See Production Notes for smaller cast size) Duration: 10 to 15 minutes. The play can be extended by the addition of jokes Music 1 Disney Haunted House Judge 1: Welcome! Judge 2: We are gathered here to behold the year’s spookiest show! Judge 3: Our very own ….. Whole cast: (Shouting together) Halloween Talent Competition! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: Each year we have a different set of contestants – but all sharing one thing in common! They’re all All Contestants: (Yelling) Gruesome! Judge 2: That’s right! No prizes here for beauty – on the contrary… Judge 3: The more gruesome, the better! Judge 1: (Looking up and down the line of contestants) And I have to say, this year you have truly surpassed yourselves! Judge 2: (Nodding) Absolutely! Judge 3: What a grotesque lot! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: But are you truly scary? Judge 2: That is what will win you this coveted prize! Judge 3: A pumpkin – filled with every imaginable horror! (Each judge walks over and holds up something from out of the pumpkin, before dropping it back in again; the showing of each ‘exhibit’ prompting cries of admiration from the cast) Judge 1: A venomous snake! Judge 2: A warty toad! Judge 3: A blood-covered axe! Judge 1: Ah yes! There is something for everyone! Judge 2: But who is to be our champion this year? Judge 3: Let’s meet the contestants! Music 2 Witch Queen of New Orleans - Redbone (Enter 3 witches) Witches: (Together) We are the three witches of Macbeth! (Three witches recite 2 lines from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, whilst bent over a caldron) Witches: Double, double, toil and trouble Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Witch 1: Evil we look! Witch 2: Ugly we are! Witch 3: (All sweetly) Choose us, kind judges Witches: (Screaming together) Or we’ll have yaaaaaaaaah! (Witches race over to the judges, making menacing gestures) Judge 1: That’s enough! Judge 2: We will not be intimidated!

Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly 'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status! Cast Size: 15 - 30 Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions. I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script! Sample Text Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show (Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre! Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me? Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk! Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go! (Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning) Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already! Narrator: About a king and a queen Wicked Fairy: Boring! Narrator: And their longing for a child! Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be? Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um.. Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’! Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up Wicked Fairy: And? Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me! Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche! Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse! Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now! Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!

Pinocchio Pantomime A story of redemption and self-discovery – with one small twist – well, maybe not so small when the whole plot hinges on it! NB: This script is the Pinocchio class play adapted as a pantomime i.e. with addition of jokes, a larger than life Fairy as the Dame; and the script adjusted accordingly. Music: there is quite an extensive playlist – 15! The choice of these numbers is totally discretionary. Cast of 24 plus Duration Reading time – around 30 minutes not including music or jokes at the end. 4 scenes of approximately 5 - 10 minutes each – more with addition of jokes at the end. Total performance time: around 40 – 50 minutes plus, depending on how much music is used and how many jokes told. The performance could be reduced substantially with omission of both music and jokes. Sample Text: Narrator: Ah! There you are! At last! The good fairy! We’ve been waiting for you! Fairy: Oh, you mean this script needs something good in it? Well, I couldn’t agree with you more! (To audience) What a load of rubbish, eh? I’ve been sitting out in the wings (Twirling, showing off her wings) Beautiful, aren’t they? About time you all had a treat! This has to rate as one of the worst pantos Narrator: (Interrupting furiously) Hey! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! So where have you been, all this time we have been performing our ‘oh so terrible pantomime’? Fairy: Where have I been, darling? (Twirling) Do you really need to ask? (Pauses) Well, getting ready of course! A fairy must always look her absolute best at all times, especially this time of year! Narrator: (Aside to audience) Strikes me this fairy could spend a little more time down the gym! Fairy: (Exploding) I beg your pardon! I trust you are not suggesting I lose any of (pauses as she tries to find her waist) this exquisite figure? Narrator: Well, it might have helped you get here a bit quicker! Things have just been going from bad to worse, here on stage! Fairy: Oh, you mean the Pinocchio thing? Narrator: Er yes, it is his story we are telling here today! Fairy: Ah well, then. My timing is perfect (pauses as she minces over to the audience) … as ever! Here I am! Narrator: Just in the nick of time! We so need you – or rather, Pinocchio does! Fairy: Yes, I have been watching this rather sad story unravel. That puppet certainly needs all the help he can get! Narrator: But it has to be the right kind of help. He’s been receiving an unfortunate amount of the wrong type. Fairy: What do you mean? Narrator: Well, I’m afraid we have a slight glitch in the plot. You see, one of the good guys has turned bad! Fairy: Oh no! That is bad news! And who might that be?

Rumpelstiltskin play This is an alternative version of the original Brothers Grimm version. Cast of 6, reading time approximately 20 minutes Includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. This script can be used for performance - as an assembly/class play; or as a guided reading script with built in lesson plan (as described above). This is the first of a series of 'alternative' fairy tales written by Sue Russell - coming up: Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty - these last three already available as assemblies/class plays, cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down). Snow White also available as a pantomime. Rumpelstiltskin Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning. And welcome to one of our favourite fairy tales (Enter Rumpelstiltskin) Rumpelstiltskin: Rumpelstiltskin! That’s me! Narrator: A veritable fiend! Villain! Crook! Rumpelstiltskin: (Interrupting) Er, wait a minute! Are we talking about the same fairy tale? (Narrator consults his notes) Narrator: Well, I think so. Weren’t you the horrible little Rumpelstiltskin: (Interrupting) Could you be just a tiny bit less offensive? I mean, ‘horrible’, ‘little’. Aren’t there any rules on political correctness here? Narrator: (Apologetically) Oh I’m sorry. You're right (Putting script to one side) I’ll try not to follow this quite so much (Rumpelstiltskin walks over and takes a look at the script) Rumpelstiltskin: (Snorting) Pah! As I thought! Those Brothers Grimm! The way they described their characters! They’d never get away with it today! ‘Little man’ indeed! How would they like to be vertically challenged? Narrator: You know, I do sympathise with you. I think you have a right to feel the way you do! Rumpelstiltskin: Well, thank you Narrator: But that doesn’t completely excuse your behaviour. Rumpelstiltskin: (Exploding) My behaviour? What about that of the king and the girl’s own father?

Cinderella Play - alternative version of the original Brothers Grimm version This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm but re-written, just as they did, by Sue Russell! This alternative Cinderella play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast size and Duration Cast of 6, reading time around 10 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Other cast of 6 alternative plays: Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel - Cinderella also available as assembly/class play cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) long with Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Snow White also available as a pantomime - cast of 30 or 60. Sample Text: Narrator: You may have a point! And maybe now, we can all take a slightly more laid back approach to life! Step Sister 1: Oh you’re talking about that exercise regime! Step Sister 2: Dragging Cinders along to the gym every day! Cinderella: Oh don’t you worry about that. Now I have my prince, I have a bit more of a reason to stay fit! Fairy Godmother: And stay away from those doughnuts Step Sister 1 & 2: (Together) Please! Cinderella: Oh no worries there. I guess that was just a case of comfort eating. I’m way happier now (pauses) and it’s not just because I have found my prince Prince: Oh really? Cinderella: Yeah. No offence but I want to stay fit for me – not for anyone else! I want to feel good – inside and out; and that means regular exercise and not binge-eating on doughnuts! I don’t need to anymore. I can see the bigger picture! Narrator: Wow! That’s amazing! (Pauses) Are you sure you haven’t been put up to this by Weight Watchers? Cinderella: (Laughing) No way! Or should I say, no weigh! Fairy Godmother: (Applauding) So good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour, Cinders! But on a serious note, what you have just said is so important, I think we need to say it again. Right, girls? Step Sisters 1 & 2: Right, Fairy Godmother! Step Sister 1: Staying fit, staying healthy is great. Step Sister 2: But it’s not just about looking great on the outside. Cinderella: No, it’s just as important to feel good on the inside.